iSame Old Lang Syne
by SlickNickShady
Summary: A Christmas story of Sam Puckett 31 and Freddie Benson 30 . Inspired by the Dan Fogelberg song “Same Old Lang Syne”. SEDDIE!


iSame Old Lang Syne

Seattle, Washington

Christmas Eve - 8:30 PM – 2024

Freddie Benson was out driving aimlessly on Christmas Eve. _Why am I out this late_, he asked himself, but found that he just didn't know. A single guy out on Christmas Eve - pretty pathetic. The last few years had been tough on him - his best friend Carly moved overseas because of her husband's business and hadn't been in touch lately, but the man made her happy and that's really all that mattered. He'd outgrown his infatuation with Carly some time ago anyway. It had just been a puppy dog crush after all. He began reminiscing about the past and the way everything had happened as well as reflecting on how it all could have been different. All those thoughts raced through his mind on that dreary Christmas Eve.

He thought about Spencer and his horn dog ways when he was younger - bouncing from one girl to the next - thought about how he had finally matured and settled down. However, unlike Spencer, Freddie Benson had never been a horn dog. He'd thought for the longest time he was in love with Carly. By the time he actually figured out Carly wasn't the one he loved it was too late. Going into his senior year of high school Freddie knew it was the time to come clean to Sam Puckett - his first kiss. He figured they had both grown out of playing games with one another.

Only things didn't go the way he had hoped.

Sam and her mother were going to be evicted from their home. Sam was going to have to move. Freddie, shocked by the news, decided not to tell Sam about his feelings just yet. Carly and Spencer begged and pleaded with Ms. Puckett for Spencer to be allowed to take over as Sam's guardian. Since Ms. Puckett wasn't seen as a fit mother to everyone that had known Sam they thought it would be a done deal, but Ms. Puckett would not have it. In her eyes she was a perfectly fine mother. The news crushed Freddie more than anybody around him had realized.

Maybe he should have told Sam how he'd felt. Long distance relationships have been known to work. But this was a relationship with Sam Puckett. Telling her his feelings would have only been the beginning of the battle to win her heart. She'd have fought him the whole way.

It would have taken time for Sam to realize that she wasn't just a consolation prize. He knew how stubborn Sam could be. Hind site is 20-20 though. Sure Sam and Carly stayed in touch for quite some time and she came back once or twice to visit, but time and distance have a way of changing people and relationships. His best friends lost touch and he lost his last connection to Sam.

The last time Freddie, Spencer, or Carly had seen or talked to Sam was 10 years ago. Carly tried so many ways to get in touch but had no luck and he hadn't really done much to help. He knew that he could have and should have tried harder to reconnect with Sam, he'd gotten good at convincing himself that he had moved on. He was with Wendy by that time anyway. A relationship that had ended soon Wendy seemed to realize that she could never replace Sam Puckett in his heart.

As the clock struck 9:00, Freddie Benson pulled into the Quality Food Center in his 2020 Cadillac. The parking lot was completely empty aside from a couple of old, beat up station wagons and a run down truck. The store was open all night and he figured that he might as well stop and pick up a few items for his small two-bedroom house on the outskirts of Seattle. He had a little tree set up with some gifts from his mom, and a few from his co-workers at KING 5 TV. Not the most exotic set up, but it was cozy enough for Freddie.

As he walked into the food center he told himself that he would be in and out real quick. Freddie noticed that there was a young, geeky bagger that reminded him of himself in his youth. He gave him a friendly, but weak smile and the boy just nodded in response. Freddie thought about when he was that age and the fun he would have with Carly, Spencer, and Sam during the Christmas Holidays. Yes, even the frozen snow balls Sam would chuck at him brought a smile to his face. He felt bad that the bagger had to be here working on Christmas Eve. He then grabbed a small grocery basket and headed towards the frozen foods.

_First things first_, Freddie thought to himself as he grabbed for the TV dinners. As a single man these were fit for a king. He grabbed a bag of bagels and a frozen pizza as well.

"Time to grab some pop," He said to himself, walking past the alcoholic beverages.

Freddie wasn't planning on getting drunk or wasted on Christmas Eve - no matter how lonely this night was going to be. He was going to spend Christmas morning with his mom at Bushwell Plaza and wasn't going to be hung-over.

As he made his way down the aisle he caught sight of a woman with long dirty blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. He studied her more closely. She reminded Freddie of his first and only real love - Sam Puckett. Freddie quickly turned his eyes back to his basket, not sure what to think. As Freddie made his way out of the aisle he felt a touch on his sleeve. It was her.

He turned.

"Sam Puckett." He said, beaming at her.

"Hey Freddie." She replied in a low voice.

They hugged for what seemed like the longest time. Somewhere in the commotion she had dropped her wallet and he leaned down to pick it up for her.

"Nice wallet." Freddie told her, smiling.

Sam was never a real girly girl so it didn't shock Freddie that Sam wasn't carrying a purse.

"Thanks." Sam said, seeming to be in much better spirits then her first words had led him to believe a second ago.

"You look amazing Sam." Freddie said.

_That was the understatement of the last decade_, Freddie thought in his head. Looking at Sam, he was speechless at how beautiful and lovely she still was. She was older, sure, but looking at her he couldn't help but think how stupid he had been all those years ago. He should have told her how he had felt. They would have figured something out, could have made it work. He concluded that in a few minutes he would be on his way home and that it's much too late for what ifs.

"You're still a dork," Sam said giving him a playful slap on the face. "But you don't look so bad yourself, Fredderly."

"Hey. Let me help you take your bags to the checkout stand. It's the least I can do," Freddie offered.

"Mama likes." She said with more pep in her voice. Then, curiously, "Were you done shopping though?"

"Yeah." Freddie lied.

Well maybe it wasn't good for him to lie right away, he thought to himself, but a white lie to spend a few extra minutes with her and to maybe get some insight about what she's been up to so at the very least he could reconnect her with Carly was probably worth it. He put her groceries on the checkout stand along with his own handful of items.

"On me." Freddie said.

"I'm not going to say no to that. I used to always trick you into paying for my smoothies," Sam told him.

"I remember. I remember very well." Freddie said.

Of course Freddie remembered. He remembered every little thing they ever did together with a great deal of fondness.

"How could I have forgotten?" Freddie said smiling. Sam just grinned back.

"The total is $37.50 sir." The cashier said as she finished ringing the items through.

Freddie handed the cashier two 20's and told her to keep the change. The young geeky bagger seemed to have been given the rest of the night off or his shift had ended, because he was nowhere to be found.

Whatever it was he was glad the bagger didn't have to work an all-nighter. As they left the store he figured he would walk Sam out to her car and he would be on his way.

"Let me help you get these things to your car." Freddie offered. Sam grunted in agreement. As he followed her he managed to sneak a peek into the bag he was carrying. "So I see some things never change." He laughed, rifling through the bag with one hand, "Five bags of Fat Cakes, five pounds of bacon, a ham, and a six-pack of Pepi Cola." He pulled his hand back and smiled at her. "Very nice."

"You know Mama needs to eat." She replied. Then, "Look Freddie. Do you have somewhere you need to be?" She asked nonchalantly.

"Why?" Freddie asked wondering what Sam was trying to get at.

"Oh. Because you know, maybe we could catch up some more. I don't have to cook tomorrow so we can spend a couple hours together." Sam said.

"I guess we could. I'm just spending Christmas with my mother tomorrow. So I don't have anywhere to be tonight. Let's get in my car and get out of this cold." Freddie said.

"Christmas with your mommy?" Sam joked.

He didn't respond back, just sort of rolled his eyes at her. He had actually missed the back and fourth banter like this between them. As he reached his car he went and put both his groceries and Sam's in the trunk. In this weather they should be fine, he thought to himself. He got in and started the car as Sam got in the passenger's side.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Freddie asked.

"What are you my mom? I'm good." Sam responded sarcastically.

"All right then." Freddie said.

"I want a drink, Benson. Mama's thirsty." Sam demanded of him.

"I know this bar a few miles out that may be open. Let's try there." Freddie replied.

"Well…drive." Sam said.

The memories of their shared first kiss rushed back into Freddie's mind. The way she said "Well…drive." reminded him so much of Sam's "Well…lean." from when they teens. To this day that kiss was still the best he ever had. His kiss with Carly had lacked any real spark and actually was one of the major forces that had led Freddie to his slow realization that Sam was the one for him. And, while Wendy was great kisser, he couldn't help but think of Sam every time she leaned in close.

"Wipe that stupid smile off of your face, Benson. Why are you being all Mr. Smiley tonight?" Sam wondered aloud.

"Just thinking, Puckett." Freddie responded.

He continued driving as well as exchanging small talk with Sam over the next five miles. When they got to the bar, Freddie slowed down as they caught sight of a large CLOSED sign out front.

"Damn it. It's closed Sam." Freddie said dejectedly.

"Don't cry, Benson." Sam said. "There's a gas station next door that's open." She pointed down the street.

"Be right back, Sam. I'm leaving the car running for you to stay warm." Freddie said as he got out of the car and shut the door behind him.

Left behind, Sam wondered to herself what would happen next. She wondered why Freddie didn't have a special someone and reflected on how she hadn't heard Carly's name once in the last 25 minutes spent with Freddie. She also knew the questions would get back to her eventually.

"I'm back," Freddie said as he opened the door and climbed back inside.

"No chiz." Sam rolled her eyes.

"I miss that." Freddie added.

"Miss what?"

"They way you say 'chiz'."

"You are still such a dork," Sam scoffed. She leaned over, excited. "So what did you get?"

"Well they only had a six-pack of Tubweizer. So I grabbed that." Freddie told her.

"That will do, Benson," Sam said, smiling as she took one from the case.

They sat there for about five minutes just sipping on their beers. You could feel the apprehension in the air. Neither of them was really sure what to say to one another after all the time that had passed. Finally, Freddie decided to break the ice.

"Let's make a toast," he blurted out.

"A toast to what?" Sam asked.

"To running into each other after all these years." Freddie said.

Freddie held his can of beer up in the air. Sam decided to go along with it and lifted her own.

"So, Freddie?" Sam asked.

"What's up?" Freddie replied.

"How come you are all alone on Christmas Eve?" Sam asked rather quickly.

She knew that he'd be turning these same questions back on her soon enough, but she had too many things that she needed to have answered.

"Well, Spencer moved to Virginia to be closer to his father. He met a nice girl by the name of Sonya. I talked to him a few weeks ago and he's doing well." Freddie said.

"Yeah, Spencer was awesome. The older brother I never really had." Sam said softly. "What else has happened?".

"I dated Wendy for almost 18 months. We reconnected our class from Ridgeway High's eight year reunion." Freddie announced.

Freddie can't believe he just told Sam so much. Sam didn't need to know his whole past.

"Eight years? Don't they usually go in increments of five?"

"Gibby was always an interesting class president, if you'll recall."

"I do." Sam paused. "So. Wendy, huh?" She pushed as he fumbled for words, "C'mon - Mama needs the deets, Benson." Sam said with a little more excitement.

"Well, let's just say things didn't work out. Wendy is really the only serious relationship I have ever been in. As you know I don't count Valerie." Freddie added.

"That was so very long ago it seems." Sam added.

"Yeah." Freddie said.

"So you and… Carly… never?" Sam asked slowly.

Sam couldn't believe it. She was the first one to mention Carly. It wasn't Freddie. Though the way she had been brought up wasn't exactly fair to Carly even though it had been so long since Sam had actually spoken to her. Sam had never had many friends. Heck, Carly and Freddie were the only best friends she had ever actually managed to keep for any length of time. Melanie was fine and all but she was also Sam's perfect twin sister with the perfect life and the perfect amount of friends and was basically living a freaking fairytale. She had married a doctor and had two girls; her marriage was healthy and happy and her house was huge. And, while Sam had many acquaintances, she just hadn't ever managed to connect with anybody like she did Carly and Freddie.

"Oh Sam." Freddie said with a bit of a laugh. "I realized long ago that was just a puppy dog crush. She was the first pretty girl I had ever seen. I grew infatuated with her. Carly is a wonderful friend but I had her held so high up on a pedestal for far too long. So no, we never dated or even came close."

"Ha! So I was right. You and Carly would never happen." Sam smiled at Freddie.

"I guess you were Sam. I guess you were." Freddie chuckled. "Carly got married and moved overseas," he added.

"Really? I need to get back in touch. She is still my best friend." Sam told him.

"Then what am I Sam? Am I still considered the help?" Freddie pressed.

"When I'm ragging on you yes. But no, you are a real close friend. I should have let you know that more than I did though," Sam said, quieter now.

"I knew you did Sam. You never had to tell me for me to know that we were friends." Freddie smiled.

Freddie finally took a deep breath and thought it was time he asked Sam some questions of his own. Gently, of course.

"What about you Sam? What have you been up to?" Freddie asked.

"I'm engaged." She said, not looking at him.

"Oh."

Freddie's heart sank - though he wasn't sure why or maybe deep down he did. He knew he should not have expected anything to come out of this meeting but he couldn't help but hold out hope.

"Yep. He's an orthodontist. We just moved here to the Seattle area from Florida. The first time I have been back here in quite some time." Sam continued.

"That's nice." Freddie added trying to sound happy for her.

"Well, I would like to say I love the man. But I'm not going to sit here and lie to you." Sam told him suddenly.

Thoughts were racing through Freddie's mind. How was he supposed to respond to that? Well, he figured that the only way to respond to that was to make light of the comment.

"Since when can't you lie? You always told me it gets easier after every one." Freddie teased causing her to smile at him.

"He keeps a roof over my head, Freddie. I'm not used to feeling secure." Sam whispered.

"That's… really great, Sam." Freddie added as he looked down at his shoes, not quite sure how to meet her gaze.

Freddie had no idea what to make of this conversation. He looked directly at Sam and Sam looked at him. Freddie didn't know if what he saw in her eyes was gratitude or uncertainty.

"The week or so that I've been back, I have seen you on KING 5 TV a few times. It's seems like a fun job." Sam said trying to change the subject back to something other than herself.

"It's part time. You know it's nice. Its part-time anchor and part-time technical annalist." Freddie added. He fiddled with the steering wheel for a moment and then turned to her. "Well Sam. It's getting late. We should… probably head back."

"All right." Sam said.

Sam didn't want the night to end but she knew it had to - as did Freddie. The look in both their eyes said as much. The time showed 11:00 on the clock radio. The beer was gone - they'd split the cans evenly between them. Freddie was still easily under the legal limit so he started the car and headed back to the food center. There was so much more that they both wanted to say, but neither could really find the words.

They arrived to the parking lot of the Quality Food Center.

"Here is my phone number and address. Call me after the holiday when you are not busy and I can get you reconnected to Carly and you and her can rekindle your old friendship. You guys were so close." Freddie finished.

Once Freddie had handed Sam the crumbled up receipt with his number and address on the back he got out of the car. He opened the trunk and proceeded to open the door for Sam. As they both stood on the frozen concrete they leaned for a small, quick kiss that ended far too soon for either one's liking. Freddie handed Sam her bags. They shared one last embrace for who knew if they would ever see one another again. With Sam who knew if she would even try to stay in touch. As Sam got in her old station wagon, most likely a rental since Sam had just moved, Sam gave Freddie one last look. Freddie just smiled at her and, with seemingly no emotion holding her back; Sam got in her station wagon and drove off.

As Freddie got back in his car he put his head on his steering wheel and let out a long breath, blinking back tears. He knew Sam was the one for him, but it was far too late. So he started up his engine and headed home.

After a 20-minute drive filled with heavy thoughts and deep regrets he pulled into his small one car garage that was so cramped he could barley get out of his car and into the house. He managed. He curled up on the sofa not even worrying about the frozen items he had left in the trunk. He was too exhausted and broken hearted to care. There he was, a lonely 30 year old spending his Christmas Eve without love. He was someone who reveled in the idea of a happy ending, but he was beginning to realize that maybe the fairytale ending just wasn't meant for him. His two-year-old cat climbed up onto the couch and curled up beside him, purring in his ear. Freddie had picked him up outside of Safeco field after a Mariners' game a few years ago. Freddie was never a big animal lover since his mom was allergic anything with fur, but this flawed three legged cat reminded him so much of Sam and her cat frothy he just had to take it in. He had even named it Frothy Jr.

"At least I have you here on Christmas Eve, Frothy Jr."

He spoke aloud to the cat as if he could understand him. Not quite content, but too exhausted to stay awake any longer Freddie slowly drifted into sleep.

Seattle, Washington

Christmas Day - 3:30 AM – 2024 – Three hours later

Freddie awoke to a pounding on his door. What moron would be out beating down doors this early on Christmas Morning? Frothy Jr. scrambled for the couch and Freddie went to the door. He twisted the knob and just stood there stunned. A dirty blonde with a couple of bags stood before him.

"So can I come in?" Sam asked quietly.

"Sure. I mean… yes." Freddie said.

Freddie led the way, flicked on the light in the kitchen and pulled out the chair on the other side of the table for Sam.

"I left him." Sam said.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Freddie said.

"Don't be." Sam said, as she awkwardly fiddled with her hair.

"I have needed to tell you for the longest time -" Sam and Freddie said in unison.

Freddie smiled and thought about their younger, simpler days and how they always had a knack for saying the same thing at the same time and jinxing each other.

"You go first," Sam told Freddie.

With another deep breath Freddie went for it.

"I love you Sam Puckett. I have loved you for a very long time. We don't need to go into how long now or why I never said or did anything. I have a lot of regrets. I should have told you back in 2010 but I thought you would just laugh." Freddie said.

Before Freddie could add anything more, Sam spoke up.

"I love you too Freddie. I started falling for you shortly after our first kiss. By the time our Ladies' Choice Dance arrived and I saw you and Carly dancing together I had realized that I loved you."

Freddie sat there stunned. Sam had loved him for even longer than he had known Sam was the one for him.

"Wow." Freddie said.

"Yeah, Wow." Sam responded.

They got up. Freddie and Sam walked into Freddie's bedroom hand in hand with Frothy Jr. close behind.

"I know this place isn't much but it's all I have. I was saving up to get a bigger place but…" Freddie was interrupted.

"Freddie." Sam said as she pulled him a gentle kiss.

"You know I have never really thought in my life that I had a home. I'm finally where I belong. I'm home." Sam said softly.

"Our home." Freddie agreed.

Freddie and Sam each knew they had a lot more to talk about and discuss, but there was plenty of time for that. For right now they were content with being in each other's arms. They loved each other. Everything else would eventually take care of itself.

**A/N: **Please listen to the song; it makes the story much better. It can be found on YouTube if you search for "Same Old Lang Syne." Hope you enjoyed the story. Special thanks to Stillshines for her looking over and editing this story.

Same Old Lang Syne – Dan Fogelberg

Met my old lover in the grocery store  
The snow was falling Christmas Eve  
I stole behind her in the frozen foods  
And I touched her on the sleeve

She didn't recognize the face at first  
But then her eyes flew open wide  
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse  
And we laughed until we cried

We took her groceries to the checkout stand  
The food was totaled up and bagged  
We stood there lost in our embarrassment  
As the conversation dragged

We went to have ourselves a drink or two  
But couldn't find an open bar  
We bought a six pack at the liquor store  
And we drank it in her car

We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to now  
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness  
But neither one knew how

She said she'd married her an architect  
Who kept her warm and safe and dry  
She would've liked to said she loved the man  
But she didn't like to lie

I said the years had been a friend to her  
And that her eyes were still as blue  
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I  
Saw doubt or gratitude

She said she saw me in the record store  
And that I must be doing well  
I said the audience was heavenly  
But the traveling was hell

We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to now  
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness  
But neither one knew how

We drank a toast to innocence  
We drank a toast to time  
We're living in our eloquence  
Another auld lang syne

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired  
And running out of things to say  
She gave a kiss to me as I got out  
And I watched her drive away

Just for a moment I was back at school  
And felt that old familiar pain  
And as I turned to make my way back home  
The snow turned into rain


End file.
